By Lorna Riley

It's often been said that we're either scoring points or losing points in life. Everything you do registers plus or minus points. We score more points when making a favorable impression doing "the right things right," and lose if it's a negative impression doing the "wrong things wrong." Because everything's relative, who defines right and wrong is in the mind of the creator.

Given the complexity of the world, our nature, and diversity in the standards by which we measure ourselves, it's impossible to be perfect and keep a perfect "score." Given enough time, we're all eventually going to trip up, no matter which rules we're following. We all have a good side and a bad side; a light side and a dark side; an energetic side and a lazy side; a public side and a private side, a shiny side and a dull side, a smart side and a dumb side, a strong side and a weak side. The list goes on. No one can ever be perfect--even those who might have been perfect would be declared imperfect by other standards. Ironically, it's our imperfections that make us interesting and even endearing. In the world of sales however, the limited time we have necessitates that we consistently show our best side early and consistently. Why?

Are people more likely to give you points or take them away during a first impression? The "Primacy Effect" is the impression people form of you in the first few seconds and tends to remain either positive or negative over time. That's why it's very hard to recover from a bad first impression. The points you score early in the relationship, as in the first first few minutes, will be the score you keep. Studies show however, that people are more likely to take your points away--and quickly! We don't consciously look for someone to mess up, nor is it contingent upon positive or negative thinking. It's a throw-back to survival instincts. Somewhere in the back of our subconscious mind lurks the thought, "Who will help and who will hurt?"

Some people give out zero points to everyone and dispense them out as they learn more. Others give 100 points to start and then take them away. Still others might start mid range and go up or down from there. For the most part, this is a subconscious act and stems from one's background of experiences and relationship philosophies. If we score "high" in the early stages of the relationship, your transgressions may be overlooked completely or only suffer a small point loss. If we score low early on however, any subsequent good deeds stand the chance of being ignored completely. It generally takes a lot of work to earn back the good graces of someone who's seen your dark side first.

Here are 10 ways to earn more points with your prospect:

1. Listen more than you talk.

2. Keep their needs mind first, not yours.

3. Be professional, but not stiff.

4. Learn about their interests, likes, and dislikes.

5. Ask questions. Most people love to talk about their situations.

6. Keep in touch without being a pest. Ask for permission to call and frequency of contact.

7. Use conversational language, not "cheap" sales talk.

8. Be real, genuine, and authentic.

9. Be prepared with all your sales materials and know how.

10. Qualify early to avoid wasting everyone's time.